Things I Miss Most About the USA #327: Tar-zhayyy

When I think of America, I don't automatically think "Land of the Free", I think "Land of Convenience".  Why do you think so many Americans are lazy (actually, Americans either lazy or super-highly-motivated-overachievers, there's no in-between)?  Because you can get what you want, when you want.  There's no waiting, no inconveniences (for the most part), no shoddy last-year's-model.

Take, for example, Target.  Your one stop shop for almost everything.  Whether you need a replacement iPod or an attractive doormat, Target has every solution.  I know I sound like a walking advertisement and I also know Brits will say, "We have that - it's called Asda," but I'm sorry, Asda has NOTHING on Target.  First of all, Target quality is far superior so you really get your bang for your buck (so American).  And the choices ... the choices!!!  Your options are endless.  Say you want to do some scrapbooking and you're looking for cardstock.  What colour?  What size?  Borders?  No borders?  Patterns?  Stickers?  Glue?  Glitter?  Multi-pack or individual sheets? 

So to illustrate the brilliance that is Target, I've come up with some scenarios you'd might face in the grand ol' US of A and how Target can help:

Scenario #1: It's your dad's birthday and you need a last minute present - Ok, so Target doesn't have fois gras, but it does have Moet and Chandon.  On your way past the food section, you can stop by the Electronics section to buy him a new GPS system for his car.  Or a chair neck-massage insert.  Or an electronic photo frame so he can see his children's beautiful faces 24/7 a day at the office.

Scenario #2: You're eating in the food court with your mom when she suddenly requests a glass of milk but every single (yes, that's right, EVERY SINGLE) food stall is out of milk (including Cinnabon - how is this possible?  How can you eat a cinnamon roll without milk?) - Naturally, you rush back to Target, where they have plenty of fresh milk choices.  Pint?  Half a pint?  In a handy to-go container?  No problem.  And you get into the "10 Items or Less" line, which is only about 2 people long.

Scenario #3:  You're invited out to dinner with your dad and his boss but all your nice clothes are in another country and the choices of formal wear currently in your closet of your childhood home consist of either a) a lilac prom dress with poufy sleeves or b) an all-black ensemble which you used to wear for youth symphony concerts (and your budget is $50 or below for everything) - There is a wide selection to choose from in Womenswear and Juniors ... Target currently houses GO:International designers (such as Anya Hindemarch, etc.) who make limited edition diffusion lines.  Accessories are also cheap but if chosen carefully, can make you look like a million bucks.  Need a clutch to go with the outfit? Also do-able at Target.

Sometimes the things you'll get are so unbelievably cheap but good, people will gasp when they hear you purchased it from Target, hence the reason why so many of us pronounce it as Tar-jhayy (much like many Primark addicts refer to the shop as "Primarni") to give the illusion of an exclusive boutique when really the whole thing is just an indulgent free-for-all. 

From toilet scrubbers to filing systems, yoga mats to Pop-Tarts, Target can fulfill all your needs and make you feel trendy and fashionable while doing so.  I miss it.

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