Scene: Robert Dyas on the Strand, Sunday, 7 March 2010, 11:12 a.m.
ME: (to sales assistant) "Hi, I'm looking for a heater. Do you have any?"
SA: "Um ... a what?"
ME: "A heater. Like, you know, a convector heater."
SA: (points to heaters stacked in the corner) "We have some over there."
ME: (looks at my watch) "Great. Listen, I have to go to the gym, but I'll be back in an hour. Any chance you can hold two of those for me?"
SA: "Um, but we can only hold items for three days."
ME: (speaks a little slower) "I'll be back in an hour. Do you think you can hold it for me for an hour? Would that be ok?"
SA: "Yeah, sure."
ME: "Great, the name is Jaime."
SA: (stops taking the boxes) "Ok, so who's coming to pick them up? You or Jaime?"
ME: (pause) "I am Jaime. I'll be back in an hour."
An hour later ...
ME: (to the same sales assistant) "Hi, can I get these batteries and ... the two heaters I had on hold?"
SA: (looks at me blankly, unmoving)
ME: (points behind him) "Yeah, those two heaters right there?"
End scene.
