Thursday, May 13, 2010

Thursday Morning Tube Rant: Ladies, Please Close Your Legs, We're Not At Secrets

Secrets, of course, being the chain of strip gentlemen's clubs in London (with one location, might I add, appropriately placed directly across from the Scholastic offices in Euston ... children's books and lap dancing go hand in hand, I know).  As the temperatures begin to rise (notice how I said "begin" as they drop again this week to winterish single digits), ladies like to get their arms and legs out.  And who can blame them?  The high street is currently stocked full of fun, spring and summer-inspiring dresses and skirts.  What I've always noticed, however, is how a whole heck of a lot of women on the tube seem to take no notice of the way they're sitting when wearing a dress or skirt that sits above the knee.  It goes without saying that you should CLAMP YOUR KNEES TOGETHER.  Yes, after experiencing one too many accidental "up-skirt" glances on the tube, I feel like offering some women a piece of string to tie their knees together.  Or at least cross your legs!  Male or not, I don't enjoy having the full glory of your thighs or often much, much worse (retches into a paper bag) on display.  And I find it fascinating how some can sit there, with their legs splayed open - not young, flirty things, but middle-aged, business skirt-type women who should really know better - and not take any notice.  What, like you don't feel a breeze?  Hello, your crotch is on show (yes, I had to go there)? 

Excuse me, while I go and erase the disturbing mental images from my mind.
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